


At Last

by StandingTallAgainstGiants



Category: NCIS
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-17
Updated: 2020-02-18
Packaged: 2021-02-17 22:49:24
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 8
Words: 6,485
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21834307
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/StandingTallAgainstGiants/pseuds/StandingTallAgainstGiants
Summary: Gibbs can’t do it
Relationships: Jethro Gibbs/Jacqueline "Jack" Sloane
Comments: 27
Kudos: 158





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Apparently I can only write angst based stuff, I hope you enjoy it though!

It was going to happen. The way he was looking in her eyes, pupils dialated. It’d been a year since the bourbon fiasco, and now they were stood in his living room inches apart, breathing heavily, and it was going to happen. 

Until his eyes dropped away from hers, and he stepped back. A minute shake of the head, as if trying to rid his brain of the fog.

“I’m sorry Jack.” He sounded defeated. 

She released the breath she’d been holding. The disappointment written over her face. Somewhere in the time between him stepping back and saying sorry she’d starting wringing her hands together. The dread sitting in the pit of her stomach. How quickly her emotions could change. 

The corner of her mouth twisting up on one side, not quite forming a smile, “What for? Not like you did anything.” Her tone was flat even to her ears, it sounded strange.

“I can’t, ‘m sorry, but I can’t.” He finally lifted his gaze. Flinching as he recognised the expression on her face for what it was, pain and disappointment. 

She straightened up, her wall rebuilding itself as she did, “You can't what?” 

“I can’t,” he exhaled harshly, “I can’t do this, me and you, I can’t do it.” 

The words hit straight into her, she almost recoiled as if she’d been burnt, but she wouldn’t let him see her vulnerable. Not again, not after this. 

“I’m gonna go, take care of yourself.” She turned as quickly as she could and walked out the door. She got into her car and drove away. When she thinks back later she won’t be able to remember how she got home, just that she’d got back and dropped straight into her bed. The dark and emptiness taking over her as she fell asleep.


	2. Nightmares

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I have no idea where this is going, but I couldn’t leave it with just the one chapter.

It’d been three weeks. Three weeks since he’d told her he couldn’t do it. Three weeks since they’d last spoken outside of work. He had to credit her, you wouldn’t know he’d let her down that night. Ever the consummate professional she was. She was polite, friendly even, but she was his Sloane. Wait. Did he just call her, no, that was a mistake. Not his. Never his. At least not now anyway.

He rarely ever slept, but the last few weeks had been even worse for him. The nightmares plagued him. Nightmares of her. Bleeding on the floor. Dying in an explosion. A bullet to the head. He couldn’t tell her because he’d broken her. That smile she used to give him. The one she still tries to give him. It doesn’t reach her eyes anymore. They’re guarded and pained. He did that to her, and he doesn’t know how to fix it. How to help them both, fix her heart and stop his sleepless nights. 

He’s been snapping at the team more recently. There’s been even more complaints than normal about his behaviour and attitude. Leon stopped him working on joint cases 2 days ago, which caused a shouting match his ex wives would be proud of. 

Now he’s sat at a bar, Grace next to him watching him throw back yet another drink, “Why ya here doc?” 

“You know why. Stop being an idiot and talk Popeye or I’m leaving and you’re losing your ride.” She arched a brow at him, daring him to push. 

“I screwed up. Don’t know how to fix it.” Another bourbon, this time he picks it up, examines it.

“Then work on fixing it Popeye. It’s not mine or anyone else’s job to sort out your mess. You screwed up, you fix it. A little tip though, I’d start by apologising, it usually helps. Now move it, I’ve got other things to do and better people to see!” 

He grunted as he stood. Not best pleased about being told what to do, especially after the last couple days. His head swimming a little as he did. The bourbon hitting him harder than usual. 

****

The next day at work he was even more of a bear. His head pounding as he’d continued to drink until he fell asleep, plagued by nightmares once again. He could hear Bishop approach before she spoke, “Uh, Gibbs? Did Jack give you back the profile for the Maunder case yet? McGee and me are going out to question the father. Be useful to have something to take with us.” 

“Why would I have it Bishop?” He snapped.

She stepped back startled, “Sorry, stupid question.” With that she turned and left grabbing her stuff as quickly as she could. 

Half an hour later after he thought she’d gone on lunch, because she usually left around 2 if she remembered, he walked up to his office. Hoping to find the file that Bishop has asked him about. Maybe he could make it up to her without saying the word. Couldn’t keep breaking rules after all. He opened the door without even thinking and his stomach dropped. Her head lifted and the smile that was just about to form drifted away very slowly. 

“Special Agent Gibbs, how may I help you?” Her tone was light and cheery, but it wasn’t warm.

“Jus’ looking for a file Bishop wanted. Something to do with the Maunder case.” He mumbled in her direction.

“Ah, yeah. You’ll have to tell her I’m sorry for being so long. The fathers and interesting one. Would have loved to have interviewed him to get a real read.” She picked up the file from her desk and handed it over. 

“Why couldn’t you interview him?” 

“Major break on a case with the sex crimes division. Out into the field later to bring the suspect in. Turns out he’s not just a one off rapist. They’ve positively linked him to several assaults aboard navy ships in the last 8 months.” She felt relieved to have the work buffer. It was easy to talk about work. Easy to pretend she didn’t feel hurt all over again every time she saw his face. 

“Yeah. Good luck, and thanks.” He waved the file in the air to make his point before making a hasty exit.


	3. Fear

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Another chapter. Thanks you for all the kind words and kudos. It’s appreciated and helps me carry this one on. I’m not sure whether this is the last chapter or whether I’ll continue.

He’d got the call at 22:37. Ducky had told him what had happened. She’d been shot, he couldn’t remember much more than that as the fear gripped his chest. Ice running through his veins. 

“Jethro? Are you still there? JETHRO!” Ducky’s voice brought him back. 

“Where?” His voice cracked as he felt his throat constricted, “Where is she?” 

“I’ll send you the address. She’s in surgery.” The dead dial tone coming through the phone told him that Gibbs had already ended the call.

****

He’d barged through the doors to the hospital, not caring who was in the way. Ducky had not only told him which hospital it was, but which floor and section they were in. More to save the nurses and doctors from one Leroy Jethro Gibbs’ wrath. 

He’d found Ducky in the waiting room, sat calmly, the way only he could. He stood as he saw Gibbs walk through the doors to the waiting area. “Where’s everyone else? Leon?” 

“You were the first person I called. The Director knows, but he has conferences and red tape to deal with Jethro. The whole thing went terribly wrong. There were fatalities too. Jacqueline saved quite a few lives today.” He responded, a glimmer of pride in his face. 

“How long has she been in there?” Ducky motioned for Gibbs to take a seat before he would answer. 

“A couple of hours I believe. The Director called me and asked if I would wait with her and inform the team. He knew you’d all want to be here.”

****

It was now 01:03. He knew because he couldn’t stop checking his watch. The rest of the team had arrived in drabs around half an hour after he’d got there. Bishop and Torres had fallen asleep. Gibbs had sent McGee and Palmer home to their wives and kids half an hour ago. Vance had finally gotten to the hospital at around quarter to one. Ducky was now sat retelling stories of his past to Vance whilst Gibbs sat silently. 

Silence broke out in the waiting room as the nurse approached. She looked tired. The remaining members of the team stood up waiting for the news they were about to receive. 

The nurse exhaled, “Shes currently stable. We lost her a few times in the operating room due to the blood loss, but we’re feeling very positive. She seems to be a fighter.” 

“That she is my dear. I don’t suppose she’s allowed visitors?” Ducky asked of her. 

“Give us 20 minutes to get everything set up and you can go in.” She smiled in response.

Bishop and Torres had awoken with all the noise going on. They were whispering to each other where they’d been sat. “Boss, I’m gonna take Bishop home. Now we know Sloane is stable. We’ll be back first thing in the morning. She probably wouldn’t want us all in there anyway!” 

“If she wakes up let her know we’ll be back as soon as we can.” Bishop’s eyes were glassy from the mix of sleep and what could only be described as relief. 

“You’ve got the day tomorrow, the case can wait.” Vance looked across to Gibbs, almost daring him to challenge the order. Torres nodded in acceptance. He wasn’t about to argue with a day off, especially after the night they’d had. 

The three of them that were remaining made their way to the room the nurse had specified before she’d left. Vance and Ducky had taken turns going into the room to see her. She wasn’t awake, but for peace of mind they needed to see her. To make sure that what they’d been told was true, that she was stable so that when the two men went home they’d possibly be able to get some sleep. 

After they’d both said their goodbyes to Gibbs the two men left to go home. He was now stood outside the hospital room. Lost and not in control. He knew to get that control back he’d have to step into that room and start to fix things. It would be a long journey, but he would fix it if it was the last thing he did, because the feat he’d felt when he got that phone call made him realise he could do this.


	4. Black

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I’m sorry it’s so short. You’ll have to forgive me, as I said, not a clue where this is going at all, but it seemed like a good place to finish the chapter. Thank you to everyone who has stuck with this and all the kudos and great comments, they’re really appreciated.

It’d been three weeks since she’d last seen him outside of work. Three very long, draining weeks. Three weeks of forcing smiles, acting professional and trying to convince Leon everything was fine. And it was fine, if fine meant it had been absolutely terrible and unbearable. She’d heard that he’d been an absolute nightmare to work with recently. So much so that Vance had removed him from their current case, but it wasn’t her problem to sort out. She couldn’t keep jumping into this thing with him to help him out only for him to bail on her when things got real between them. She wasn’t angry, and she could never not care about him, but now she had to care about herself too. If that meant distancing herself then so be it. 

She was sat at work, wishing she had never crawled out of bed. The words in front of her becoming blurry even with her glasses on. Her lack of concentration was having a not so desired effect on her work, but her current case was important so she’d muddle through until she could get a real handle on things. 

He’d walked in about 30 minutes after she’d given up trying to do anything. Looking for a file for Bishop. The whole interaction was highly professional and not them at all. He looked how she felt, but he’d made the decision that had brought them to this point, and she had things she needed to do today. Like catching a particularly twisted bad guy. The good luck he’d thrown her way as he made his exit was laced with something, but she’d stopped trying to figure him out weeks ago to save them both from anymore heartache. 

****

Time had slowed as the suspect had appeared from around the corner of the wall he’d been using to hide behind. Even with her gun drawn she hadn’t had time to react until he’d already shot, he had been waiting for her. Two shots to the abdomen, hitting her backwards. As she’d started falling she’d shot back, managing to hit him in the shoulder. Seconds later back up had come in from behind her previous position, one of the team apprehending the suspect, the other putting pressure on her wounds. As she laid struggling to breathe, she thought to herself. She wished he could have done it, committed to them, because right now, everything else seemed inconsequential. Especially as her world started to go black and the shouting and pleading faded into the background.


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry it’s been a while, I’ve no clue where this is going. I’m not totally happy with the chapter, but I wanted to write something. Hopefully you’ll enjoy it. All mistakes are mine and I own nothing. Happy reading!

It was really peaceful. Where had all the shouting gone? Maybe she’d imagined the shouting because she felt feather light now. Had she dreamt about being shot? As she started to wake up a little more she took a deep breath in. That’s when she’d realised her mistake because damn, that hurt. The groan that escaped her lips couldn’t be held back no matter how hard she tried. Then she felt warmth on her face, a hand maybe? 

“Jack?” That voice, it was definitely familiar, “Jack, hey Sloane?” 

It was definitely him, she would recognise that voice anywhere, but she couldn’t look at him, her eyes wouldn’t open as quickly as she wanted them to. 

“Gi...Gibbs?” Her throat was on fire, why was it on fire? Shot, oh she’s definitely been shot, either that or she’d gone a couple rounds with Mike Tyson. As her eyes opened he came into focus. The mix of emotions on his face made her breath catch. 

“Hey Lieutenant. Getting bored sat in that office? If you were you only had to say, we got plenty for you to help us with.” He smiled, but it never quite hit the teasing note he was going for. His face too clouded over by fear and relief. 

“What’re you doing here Gibbs?” As much as she lo...liked, as much as she liked seeing him, she was lucid enough to remember everything that had happened between them. 

“Ducky called last night, told me what happened. Came as soon as I could, you’re part of the team Jack.” The minute the words left his mouth he realised his mistake, her eyes had flashed in what he could only assume was anger. 

She steeled herself, ready for whatever came next, “I’m fine Gibbs, road to recovery should be straight forward. I’m sure I’ll get the lowdown and then I’ll be released. You’ve got cases that need to be solved.” 

“Vance gave us the day off, ‘m not goin’ anywhere.” 

“I’m just going to be lying here resting. Nothing exciting, I’m sure you’ve got better things to do.” 

The whole exchange was strained. Civil, but still strained. He couldn’t for the life of him understand how he was gonna fix it, but he was, because she was worth it. It had been a long time since he’d remembered anyone being worth the extra effort in his love life. 

Just as she went to speak the door opened, “Jacqueline, my dear, you’re awake!” Ducky, Gibbs smirked, this would cheer her up. 

The smile that appeared on her face was on he’d missed, “Ducky, it’s good to see you.” 

“I should be the one saying that to you dear. Only one of us got shot yesterday and I know it wasn’t me, and before you say you’re fine, I’ve spoken to your doctor. We’re lucky you’re still here.” Gibbs stomach dropped, the smile he’d been carrying from seeing her pleasure at the doctors presence disappeared the minute Ducky had finished his sentence. Luckily he hadn’t been holding her hand when he’d heard because with the way his knuckles were turning white at his sides he might have broken it. “Jethro, I could do with some tea, and I know you haven’t moved, perhaps a coffee for you?” 

That was his queue, the look Ducky was giving him left no room for argument, and after what he’d heard, he wasn’t sure he’d be able to keep his head for much longer, he took one last look at Jack then nodded before getting up from his seat and exiting. As he left he overheard Ducky, “Now tell me dear, how are you feeling really?”


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for sticking with this guys, and thanks for the support and kudos, means a lot. I think it’s got a few more chapters in it yet and I’m hoping to getting back into more of a routine with it. Once agin all mistakes are mine and I own nothing. Enjoy!

Two weeks of rest had her going insane. It was her first day back and she was definitely on restricted duties. How can you even restrict desk work? She’d come in earlier than was suggested, depending on who caught her she could easily lie about what time she’d got in. After her chat in the hospital with Ducky she’d felt lighter. Things felt clearer in her head, and she had her recovery to focus on. The team had tried to contact her. Ducky had stopped by her apartment once every few days and Vance was in constant contact with her, but she’d just tried to stay away, give herself time to process. 

She hadn’t seen Gibbs since he’d left for coffee in the hospital that day, and although it hurt she figured it was for the best. It helped her think more clearly. She was starting to realise not having him in her space, although painful, was bearable and maybe the more time they spent apart the easier it would become. So she sat down at her desk hoping that for an hour or so nobody would come to bother her. Files were stacked high and she already had a plan to sneak a few out to take home, who needed restricted duties anyway. 

****

He’d seen her sneak in. Knew that restricted duties would mean nothing to her, she always worked hard behind the scenes, finding things that nobody else would. Two weeks ago he’d made the decision to give her space. He couldn’t see a way of fixing what he’d broken because he was usually really good at breaking things off and walking away to keep them safe. With her it was different. It was driving past her house after he’d finished in the office to check everything looked okay. It was trying to pry information from Ducky and Vance without them knowing. It was snapping at the team for no reason because who the hell else could he take his anger out on. 

It was quiet for the team. No new case as of yet. Just clearing paperwork, McGee the only one brave enough to approach him with anything. As he looked up to see McGee approaching his desk, “Hey Boss, grabbing a bite, you want anything?” 

Gibbs stared for a second, “‘m good Tim, take Bishop and Torres with ya. Don’t rush back unless we catch a case.” 

“Sure thing Boss, see you later.” With that McGee left. He didn’t need to be told twice, and quite frankly the break from the office would do them all good. He was, however, wondering where the change of behaviour from Gibbs has come from. That was until he was waiting for the elevator and caught one Jack Sloane entering into the Director’s office. 

****

He’d waited for about 10 minutes until after she’d reappeared from Vance’s office. It was time to see her, to try and speak to her. His heart was pounding and he refused to acknowledge that fact that he felt very nauseous. As he got to her door he froze. Her door was shut and that wasn’t usually something she did. Two quick knocks and her confirmation that it was okay to come in had him opening the door. 

As he entered his entire body seemed to relax. Seeing her, being near her always had him relaxed. Breathing felt easier and lighter, problems felt like nothing, until he realised her entered her office and just been stood staring at her. Her head tilted as she clearly asked him a question that he’d totally missed. 

“You okay Gibbs?” Her concern was clearly etched onto her face.

“‘M good Sloane. How about you? First day back.” 

“I can’t complain. Beats daytime TV and the four walls of my apartment. A lot to catch up on, but I’d rather be busy than sat at home.” The corner of her mouth lifted in some form of smile. He’d missed her. Her positivity and optimism. “I actually have one of your cases from last week, looking it over now. Did you guys interview the brother?” 

“You think he’s the killer?” His interest was piqued, a couple hours back and she was already solving his problems for him. He missed her. 

“I think he knows who the killer is. Could have even been in on it. He stood to gain a lot of inheritance if she was out of the equation.” 

He thought about it for a second, took a seat in front of her desk, “Then maybe we bring him in, ask him a few more questions. Don’t suppose you’ve got some time to come down and observe?” 

“Sure, just give me a shout when you need me.” She smiled properly this time as he nodded and got up from the chair. 

As he reached her office door he turned back to face her, “Hey Sloane, you need anything you just give me a shout. No matter when.” 

His concern was clear, and the olive branch extended. Her head lifted back up from the file she was reading, her eyes warm and appreciative, “I will Gibbs.” 

He nodded again before exiting. He left feeling a little lighter. Tiny steps were still steps, and if he had to make a thousand of them to get back to their thing, he would.


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> All mistakes are my own. I’ve tried not to rush it, but I may rewrite this one a bit. Enjoy!

After he left her office she felt relieved. She’d expected their first encounter after she got back to be more strained and awkward. She almost wished it had been, what actually occurred between them left her confused. She shook her head to try and rid herself of her thoughts. 

****

She looked at her watch to check the time. 7pm? How did she let it get so late? Hoping Vance had already left because if he hadn’t she was going to be in some serious trouble, she gathered up her things and picked up a few files to take home with her. It wasn’t like there was much else to do. She locked up her office and headed down to her car. As she stepped off of the elevator she nearly ran head first into one Leroy Jethro Gibbs, “Gibbs! Sorry, I didn’t see you there.” Her vision swam for a second or two after she quickly whipped her head up to meet his eyes. 

Gibbs studied her for a few seconds, “S’alright Jack.” He paused and put his hand on her arm, “Hey Sloane, you good?” 

Her response was a quick nod in the affirmative, “Yeah just tired, didn’t realise how tired I’d be, or what time it was. Don’t tell Leon and there’s a coffee in it for you.” She winked at him conspiritally. 

“I won’t tell him, scouts honour.” He held his hand up to signify his promise. “I’d feel a lot better if you’d let me drive you home though.” 

She smiled at his concern, and paused to think about it, as much as she’d like to have refused her rational mind kicked in, “If you’re sure?” Was her uncertain response. 

“Of course Jack, like I said, if you needed anything.” 

****

The next morning Jack awoke to knocking on her apartment door, “Jack, you in there? Lieutenant?” 

What time was it? A quick look at the clock on her night stand confirmed it was almost 9. Shit. It was late, even by her standards it was really late. She’d rushed to put on some jeans and a jumper and quickly padded to the front door. “Hey, what are you doing here?” 

Gibbs looked perplexed, “I’m your ride remember? I told ya I’d come get ya at around 8. Stopped off for coffee so got here late. Been knocking for about 20 minutes, you not hear that?” His face was full of worry and concern. 

“Sorry I don’t remember any of that, the meds they’ve got me on make me more than a little tired.” She grimaced apologetically. 

Gibbs eyes narrowed fractionally, “You still on pain killers Sloane?” 

She rolled her eyes at herself for letting that one slip, “Yeah, stitches tore last week during physio, apparently I was a little too keen to get back to my usual self. More to ward off any infection.” 

He felt his heart miss a beat. The fear in his chest causing his lungs to constrict. Neither Ducky or Vance had mentioned it, but then again he was the one that had decided he couldn’t do it, their thing, anymore. “But you’re good right? No complications?” 

She huffed out a small laugh, “I’m good Gibbs, just stubborn apparently. Just let me get my stuff and I’ll be ready to go.” The door was left open as invitation for him to come inside and wait for her. 

As he stepped in he was enveloped by everything that was her. Bright colours accented the apartment through colourful cushions and appliances. The smell that was uniquely her, sweet and warm. He never wanted to leave, the smell and the feeling was home, and boy he’d not been able to say that in a very, very long time. 

He smiled as she rounded the corner, “You ready Cowboy?” She paused on the way to pick up her bag, it was minute, only recognisable if you were really looking at her. Her mistake was slipping straight back into the nickname she’d given him, it was like falling straight back into a trap. A bad habit she couldn’t kick. 

He’d noticed the pause, knew she’d considered the name a mistake, but if she’d slipped into it by accident he wasn’t complaining. It just meant that maybe he was on the right track. Maybe he could actually fix this. 

****

They’d managed to solve the case that Jack had picked up the day before. After interviewing the brother again he confessed to convincing a friend to help him get rid of his sister so that he could claim her share of the inheritance after he’d fallen into some pretty hefty debt. 

About 2 hours after they’d booked him and found his accomplice Vance had notified the team that they had a new case. He had also called Gibbs into his office to inform him that Jack would be going out to the crime scene with them as there was a young female officer involved. 

He stared at Vance in disbelief, “It’s her second day back Leon.” 

“I know that, but as of this morning she was cleared for full duty. She knows her limitations and we need her out there with you. The Ensign that witnessed the murder won’t let anyone near her.” The frustration in his voice was clear. 

“Just because she passed the physical doesn’t mean she should be shoved straight out into the field.” 

“I don’t know what your problem is with this Gibbs but she’s going. She’s damn good at her job and I think she’s the only one that might get through to the Ensign.” The finality in his voice left no room for argument. 

Gibbs stepped towards Vance, “Fine, but if I think she needs to take a break she’s takin’ a break.” 

As he stormed out Vance was left behind totally confused by what had just transpired. Gibbs was usually protective of his team, but he never usually refused them access to field work after returning to work. He pushed the subject to the back of his mind, a little worried about what it might imply and not wanting to think of the consequences, or the paperwork it might entail. 

****

That evening he was sat by the fire. He’d been expecting her to come over. Not because he’d planned it, but because of the way he’d been treating her all day. Even he had to wonder what had come over him. He’d been hovering near her the whole time at the crime scene. Making sure she was always in his line of sight, never too far away in case something happened. They’d got into a heated discussion in her office after they’d got back about how he needed to let her do her job and give her some space. There was still more to be said but he’d stormed out of the room when she’d implied that their current relationship was his choice so he’d unwittingly set the rules that he no longer wanted to play by. So yeah, he’d been expecting her, but what he hadn’t been expecting was the entrance. 

The door swung open slamming against the wall, uh oh, “What is your problem?” 

“Evenin’ Jack.” He replied calmly.

“Don’t give me that crap. Seriously Gibbs, what is your problem?” The fire in her eyes stirred something in him, she was right when they’d first met after all, he did enjoy a good fight. 

“I don’t have a problem Jack.” He tried to keep his tone even, unsure of how to play it. 

The laugh that escaped her was not one of humour, “Oh really? So you hovering around me all day, making life difficult, that’s just what you normally do to all your agents out in the field?” 

“When they’ve just returned to active duty you bet.” 

“Oh is when Torres got hit by a car, you babysat him when he went back out into the field. He didn’t chase a suspect down and nearly injure himself again, because you were there hovering.” 

Crap. He’d been caught, hook line and sinker. Now he was on the defensive, “Torres was different.” His voice had started to raise now.

“How so? Because he’s a man?” 

He stood from his sitting position, ignoring the grain in his knees, “It has nothin’ to do with him bein’ a man.” 

She took a step towards him, “Then what is it? What could possibly have made you so unbearable today?” She was really shouting now. 

Oh he’d missed her, the fire, the fight, he’d really missed her, “It was you!” 

“What? So it’s my fault you were an ass today?” The disbelief in her voice was clear. 

He took a step towards her, “No.” he shook his head trying to sort his thoughts, why did he have to suck at talking so much? He’d calmed himself down before speaking again, “It was because it was you Jack. ‘S different with you.” 

Her face softened a little at the admission, “But why?”

“I said I couldn’t do it before. Not that I didn’t want to.” 

“What? What are you…” she paused, oh, “So what? You change your mind and I should come running? Be happy? Forget everything?” 

“No. I just, I’m not good at this Jack.” He shook his head in disappointment at himself.

She took pity on him, she knew he wasn’t good at this, knew it’d take some work, “I’m not asking you to be good at this, Cowboy. All I was ever asking was for you to try.” 

His eyes snapped to hers. Was she saying there was a chance she’d give him the opportunity to try again? Was he reading this conversation right? Sometimes he just couldn’t tell with her, it was one of his favourite things about her. “And if I wanted to try now?”


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Massive thank you to everyone who has followed this story. I never had a clue where it was going or how I wanted it to end but here we are. This is only my third attempt at writing fanfic so I’ve really appreciated all the support and messages. Hopefully you’ll think the journey was worth it! Again all mistakes are my own, and I hope you enjoy!

Her eyes had widened as she’d taken a step back, as if the words he’d spoken had physically pushed her, “Are you saying what I think you’re saying?” 

“Yeah Sloane. I am.” His response was guarded, waiting for the no that would inevitably come.

“And if you decide you can’t do this again? What happens then?” She wasn’t giving up that easily. 

“I can’t promise it’ll be easy Jack, just that I wanna try.” He was almost pleading with her, he needed her like he needed oxygen, some days more. 

Another step away from him and he could feel the loss of her already, “I...I need some time okay? I need to clear my head, and you, you need to make sure you’re serious about this Gibbs.” 

He took a small step towards her, worried that she was slipping away and trying not to completely scare her off, “I’m serious Jack. When you’re ready, I’ll be right here.” 

She nodded in response before turning and leaving as quickly as she could. 

****

It had been a week since he’d heard from her. It was a long week, especially when he’d seen her from a distance in the office always looking warm and bright, always looking like home. He kept to himself more than usual and it had been noticed on more than one occasion. He’d talked everything through with Ducky at the diner the night before. He needed to tell someone what he’d happened and it wasn’t going to be Grace. He can already see her arrogant smirk in his head, and he wasn’t ready to face that just yet. 

So now he was at home sat by the fire again with his bourbon in hand. Tonight, tonight he was drinking as much as he could. Maybe then he could get some sleep, or at least forget about what it was that was plaguing him. He didn’t really want to forget because who would want to forget her? But he did want to forget the pain, the uncertainty. 

A knock on the door had him reluctantly calling out a single, “Yeah?” In response.

That’s when she walked in, form fitting jeans, baggy jumper. Deep brown eye and a smile that he’d never get tired of. His mouth went dry, apparently not seeing her up close for long periods of time did that to him now, “Y’know Cowboy, I could have been anyone.” 

That voice, he missed that voice! “Wasn’t expectin’ anyone.” 

She gave a small laugh in response and hooker her thumb back towards the door, “So maybe I should just be leaving you to it then?” 

That got his attention, so he stood up and walked to her, their faces mere inches apart. The whole exchange was different, it was charged with something, tension, heat, maybe both, or maybe it was the alcohol he’d consumed. 

“What you doin’ here Jack?” His eyes squinted as he tried to read her. 

“Little birdy told me you might need a friend. I told him you needed something more than that.” 

“Ducky.” Was his only response. 

“Sometimes it helps to talk Cowboy.” Her sultry tone had him leaning in a fraction closer.

“Yeah? What if ‘m done talkin’?” 

Her breath ran over his face as she huffed out a laugh sending heat straight through him, “Who said I was here to talk?” Her hand reach up to cup his face. 

“This thing, our thing. It’s not a one time thing Jack, it can’t be that way with you.” 

“Good. I’m done dancing around this, if you’re all in then so am I.” Her hand moved down to his chest, her eyes boring into his, letting him know she was serious, that she’d had her time. 

He’d almost frozen for a few seconds, like he was still computing her words, just as she was about to call out his name to see if he was okay he closed the gap. His lips crashing onto hers as though she was his last hope, his only life line. 

Once the initial shock had worn off she match him in fervour. The small moan she’d let out she couldn’t control. It felt like they were spiralling. Her head dizzy from the smell of him and the heat that surrounded her. 

When he’d finally made his move he wondered why he’d been such an idiot. Why he’d taken so long. This was comfort, this was safety and understand, this was home. She was his home, and now, now he knew that he wouldn’t run. He had no doubt that he’d stay, stay for her, stay for himself. He broke the kiss off, needing air. 

Her eyes scanned his face, “You good Cowboy?” 

“Better than.” His smile was confirmation of his words as he kissed her again. This time more slowly, savouring her. 

“Come on.” She grabbed his hand and lead him upstairs. He followed her without question. They’d been waiting years for this, and now he’d started it he was going to make damn sure she knew he was sticking around. For her. For him. For them. 

****

He’d woken up the next morning to her curled up into the side of him, her hand on his chest and his arm wrapped protectively around her. The sheets tangled around them and the smell of her surrounding him. He smiled to himself. Finally. 

As she stirred the memories of the night before came back to her. Almost overwhelmed by the emotion of it all. She stretched out and along him, falling straight back into place once she had. 

“Mornin’ Lieutenant.” The smile plastered on his face left no room for doubt. He didn’t regret this one bit, and neither did she. 

She huffed out a laugh, “Morning Cowboy. I hope you’ve got coffee.” 

“I do. Got sugar too.” 

“Guess I’m staying for coffee then.” She said as she patted his chest, rose from the bed and headed for the bathroom. 

As he unapologetically watched her he called out, “Hope you’re staying for more than just coffee.” 

Her only response was a laugh, and he found that if he could hear that everyday he’d be an extremely happy man. 

****

He’d gone downstairs to get the coffee started and make sure the sugar was within easy reach for her. She knew where it was but he was buzzing and trying to keep himself busy. That was until he turned around and saw her in his USMCjumper. His brain faltered and tripped over itself. His eyes lit up and she laughed in response. 

“Sorry, didn’t bring my go bag.” 

“Left if out for ya, wasn’t sure you’d wear it.” 

“I did have to seriously think about the consequences.” The seriousness of the tone she said the words with didn’t match the smile etched on her face. 

He walked over to her position at the entrance to the kitchen and pulled her to him the rest of the way by the pocket of the jumper she was wearing. His jumper. His girl. 

He met her with a gentle kiss. That was until they pulled away in surprise at one Doctor Mallard exclaiming, “At last!”


End file.
